Aarkonian Queen to visit Earth in January
Her Royal Highness, Queen Jennifer, of the Planet Aarkon will begin a scheduled tour of events beginning in New York soon after our planet New Year.
Photographed here after returning from an all-galaxy trade tour of inhabited planets, Her Highness shows-off one of the artistic wraps she has been promoting throughout our galaxy.
In addition to her artistic garment line, She is also promoting a line of facial cosmetics and scents due to be marketed as soon as FDA approval is granted. A Queen spokes-being said that it is an FDA customary practice to test the products, and anticipates release of the Royal cosmetics soon into our year 2014.
After several attempts, we finally contacted an FDA employee, Dr. Leon Kratznivitz, who gave us this statement:
“Well, the Wraps, Shirts, and other knitted stuff looks and feels like our cotton. We ain’t got a problem with that. It’s the darn perfume. We can’t figure out the odor chemicals. The stuff smells good, but what’s it gonna do to humans? That’s what we’re trying to figure out.
The plan is: mice first, after that come the rats, then we go to monkeys, and we finish testing on the convicts. We’re not giving her special treatment, other than moving as quick as we can with the tests. I heard we were through with the mice and rats, but that’s from an unqualified source.”
