Monthly Archives: January 2014

STORE

Posted on by
Reply
Aarkonian Club Shirt
Aarkonian Club Shirt
$15.00
Mens Size :
Hand Signed by the Artist :
Doctor Bronski T-Shirt
Doctor Bronski T-Shirt
$20.00
Mens Size :
Hand Signed by the Artist :
Big Tease T-Shirt
Big Tease T-Shirt
$20.00
Womens Size :
Hand Signed by the Artist :
Picasso Goes Fishing T-Shirt
Picasso Goes Fishing T-Shirt
$20.00
Mens Size :
Hand Signed by the Artist :
Smells Like Fish T-Shirt
Smells Like Fish T-Shirt
$20.00
Mens Size :
Hand Signed by the Artist :

International Polka Committee Reverses Decision

Posted on by
1
Disqualified Art Contest Winner "Frankie Loves the Polka"

Disqualified Art Contest Winner “Frankie Loves the Polka”

Minkskaputka, Croatia:

Officers of the International Polka Festival issued a statement this week retracting the award for the previously selected 2014 International Polka Festival logo art.

“It is with great sadness that we must reject the winning entry from an obscure Wisconsin, U.S.A. artist.” Said Igor Slevintofsky, Committee Chairman.  “This would have been the first time the committee has selected an artist outside of Europe since 1937.” Continue reading →

Arms Dealer Decorates Bathroom with Original Artist Paintings

Posted on by
Reply
The owner's favorite: "Scuba Diver Captured by Aliens", 16" x 40"

The owner’s favorite: “Scuba Diver Captured by Aliens”, 16″ x 40″

Herbert Lampiere, Owner and CEO of Lampiere Industries has purchased two original works by obscure artist, Tom Hicks of Waukesha, Wisconsin for an undisclosed, but rumored to be enormous, amount.

When asked for comment Mr. Lampiere replied: “Well, Yes. I paid a lot for them, but it’s a far more reasonable price than an auction at Christies. I like to stare at the “Scuba Diver” one while soaking in my tub. Just thinking of how peaceful life in that tube might be. The other one looks like me when I was a younger man. That’s why I bought the pair.”

Hicks was quoted by the owner of Almont Gallery as saying: “Huh? Oh, Those two? I’m calling them my ‘Watersports Period.’ I had enough of that crap. I’m going back to doing pet animal portraits. That’s where the real money is.”

Portrait of Herbert Lampiere as a younger man: "Saturday Night", 40 x 30"

Portrait of Herbert Lampiere as a younger man: “Saturday Night”, 40 x 30″

Extraordinary Treasure Wealth Shared by Marooned Seaman!

Posted on by
1

Happy Birthday Nolan!

pirate_grandpa

I’ve been on another Pirate adventure since I saw you at New Year’s Eve. I went to Florida and signed on to the crew of a whaling ship called “China Blubber”. We sailed through the Bahama Islands on our way to Japan and were attacked by Pirates!

The Pirates took over the ship and I didn’t wait to find out what would happen next. I slipped over the side and swam to the shore of a tiny island.  None of my shipmates made it. They all sailed off with the Pirates and left me marooned. There were a few natives on the island and they were very nice to me. They fed me fish and coconuts and told me stories about buried pirate treasure. Continue reading →

Idiot Savant Paints Masterpiece While Locked in His Basement!

Posted on by
Reply

Happy New Year, Everyone!

While you were celebrating your Earth Holidays, I have been busy painting. Below are four new works that I decided to share with you before my automaton stores them into my space vehicle. The same robot will upload these images into the Art Gallery section of this site. I’ll need to program it first. These automatons are like pets, aren’t they? Ah, maybe I’m just lonely and sentimental as I write this tonight.

Anyway, I’ve decided to take a break from painting and to do a little more writing. The writers that follow this Blog are getting impatient for a good story. (Really. They wrote me and asked for a “good story”…) So that’s what I intend to give them.

It’s been difficult to paint recently because I’ve been spending large amounts of time sending distress signals to Aarkon via the Tin Foil Hat, which gets in the way while painting.

So now I’ll introduce you to my latest work … Continue reading →

Our Mermaid Travels to Vietnam

Posted on by
3

Yes. As part of our world trade mission, we sent our Arts Ambassador to Vietnam to let the people know we’re not holding any grudges, and as you can see here … neither are they. Right after this photo was taken, the little guy on the right asked to trade shirts and wear the “Smells Like Fish” shirt. There’s no doubt that the Vietnamese people appreciate fine art.

Smells Like Fish T-Shirt
Smells Like Fish T-Shirt
$20.00
Mens Size :
Hand Signed by the Artist :

My Good Friend Pablo

Posted on by
3

IMG_0904A lot of you may not know it, but Pablo and I were friends for some time before I took him fishing. We both enjoyed creating stuff, painting mostly. We looked alike too. Although I was younger, I also had that silly, dark-eyed stare that he became known for.

I had filled-in for him at several public appearances in New York in ‘61 while he was in Europe accepting the International Lenin Peace Prize for the second time. We really laughed about that later. And when he married Jackie (Jacqueline Roque) that year, I suggested that I substitute for him in the bridal bed that same evening. “Come on, Pablo. You’re 69 years-old for Christsakes!” I said. He lit another Balto, blew smoke in my face while coughing, and said, “69 says love, too.” Continue reading →